Delia Iaboni

3 min

A Letter to My Past Self: Everything I Learned from Scars

An exercise in retrospective compassion to embrace the person we were and thank them for surviving the storms.
A Letter to My Past Self: Everything I Learned from Scars

Dear and brave me of yesterday:

I look at you through the mirror of time and see your tired eyes, full of doubts, fear, and crushing anxiety about the future. I see you crying secretly in that dark room, believing with all your broken heart that the pain you were experiencing then was the end of your story and that you would never find the light again. Today I travel through time to hug you tight and whisper in your ear the most beautiful truth of all: we survived.

Forgiveness for Everything You Didn't Know

The first thing I want to do is ask for your forgiveness. Forgiveness for being so hard on you, for judging you mercilessly for your mistakes, for demanding impossible perfection, and for doubting so many times your ability to move forward. Today I understand that you did exactly the best you could with the tools, knowledge, and emotional maturity you had at that moment.

"The scars you tried so hard to hide out of shame became over the years our most sacred medals of honor. They are living proof that we were stronger than everything that tried to destroy us." – Delia Iaboni

Three Secrets I Wish I Had Told You Sooner

If I could sit beside you during that era of so much uncertainty, I would hold your trembling hands and reveal three secrets that would have saved you so much unnecessary suffering:

  • That person who left did you a huge favor: I know you feel the world is ending because of that goodbye, but believe me: life was clearing from your path what no longer vibrated with your destiny to make room for much greater, healthier, and reciprocal blessings that are on their way.
  • You don't have to have everything figured out at 20 or 30: Stop comparing yourself to others. Life is not a speed race nor an exam you must pass before a certain age. Your pace is perfect, unique, and sacred. Breathe.
  • Your sensitivity is not a flaw, it is your superpower: Stop trying to harden yourself to fit into a cold world. Your ability to feel deeply, love unreservedly, and be moved by details is exactly what will turn you into the artist and humane woman you are today.

Thank You for Not Giving Up

Finally, I want to thank you. Thank you for getting out of bed on those days when you felt you didn't even have the strength to breathe. Thank you for continuing to walk in the dark, for trusting in hope when all seemed lost, and for betting on us.

Today I am here, in a present full of peace, purpose, and self-love, and all of this exists solely and exclusively thanks to your bravery and resilience. Rest in peace, my dear past self. We've weathered the storm; today we are safe and we are blooming.

With infinite tenderness and pride,
Your present self.

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